been a while

Not very happy today, for the last three days I've been shipping out the flat, too many memories being unpacked as so much stuff is packed, too much time thinking about the ex and her latest husband. I didn't desrve this, left alone, hung out to dry, forced to flee the country to try and find some peace.

Yesterday was my birthday; the day sucked, the carpet cleaning guy arrived a bit early, 6.30 am to be precise and I spent a sleep deprived day packing. The night was better tho, went into london with great mate Karen for ballet and food, then ended up at a private members club for end of evening cocktails. I adore Karen, have done since I first met her, always wanted to make a move but never did, then we were friends and never seemed able to cross that line from friend to lover. I decided 'sod it', I'm leaving the country, I need her to know how I feel about her, I couldn't work out how to do it so this morning as we hgged good by, I just held it a bit longer and looked her in the eyes. 'Why did we never hook up?' 'we're friends' she said. and thats that. I'd have hated myself if I'd never tried tho.

I want to meet someone special, someone that makes me want to be special with them. Ignore me, just a late night tired tranny blogger who's feeling a bit glum. Last blog post from this flat, gnight all.