Stronger?

In my particular idiom (copyright S. Curran) I like to drink a little bit and think about stuff. I've just read something April wrote and it triggered a thought in me; She wrote about falling asleep next to the pool at The Big Chill, we both did and April fell asleep with her head in my lap, the reason for the Big Thinking was that as a nipper I was quite homophobic, along with racist and sexist, I make no appologies, we are all products of our environment and had I not escaped an insular steel town I would probably still be. So to lie there with a mans (ok she looks fantastic but we know the way the chromosomes lie, ya know what I'm saying here?) head in my lap without feeling threatened by it was something of note to me.

That in turn brought back a memory of the night of Jenny Jacksons most excellent party. I was unfortunatlely being a boy having two parties to attend that night, at the muggles party the delightfully gay next door neighbour came wandering out gloriously drunk and collapsed next to where I sat on the lawn. According to the hostess he loves to freak out her guests by coming onto them, perhaps as part of this he positioned himself to put his head in my lap (maybe I just have a lap that attracts XY). It was a nothing to me, I didn't mind and just carried on chatting, stroking his hair a little as his inebriation robbed him of consciousness. The point is that it in no way affected my view of myself as male and straight. I don't have to prove it, I don't care if someone saw it and assumed I was gay (unless it was the cutie in the red and gray shiftdress who I totally failed to get off with, whooaaa two and two are coming together now, damn you gay next door neighbour)

So anyway I reckon I'm stronger through trannying, or coming out, or 'being me' (see later blog entry for an explanation of the quotes.)

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Confacimus navegemus
Fuck it -- let's go sailing.