Been a while

Couldn't be bothered doing anything this weekend, watched some telly, did some shopping, in an attempt to achieve something I decided to unpack two boxes that have been annoying me. Funny what can catch you unawares, one box had Julias favourite red hat that she wore walking the dog, don't know how that ended up with me, she loved that, it's big and fluffy and made her look silly but she wore it anyway and I loved her for it.

And I still love her now. I slag her off and call her a witch to friends in an attempt to feel that way about her but it's not how I feel and every insult feels like a betrayal of her. She was so very special to me and it feels like everyday she becomes more special.

I miss my old life, right now even if it meant going back in the closet I think I would do it and thats just madness, people tell me I'm much happier now, that I seem a different person, calmer, nicer, but all that doesn't matter right now.

It's just a passing phase, I'll be fine tomorrow, think I'll throw out that damn hat.