Ennui
—Synonyms listlessness, tedium, lassitude, languor.
Thats me that is with regard to trannying and blogging. I was mulling over it this week, I don't want to wear girls clothes any less, if anything more; summer desses and skirts and cute blouses are driving me mad at work. Honestly it's like theres a cute blouse club at work, one particular girl, cute blouses and skirts every day, drives me mad. Then at work I resolve to go home that night and perorm the magic of transformation but I dont, I want to but not enough to overcome the lethargy. It's like my effort reward ratio isnt high enough. See how I think it works is this; when I was just getting out and about then a night in a skirt was a big deal, huge buzz awesome fun, well well worth the effort and expense. Now that I've been out more times than I can count (I loved when I realised I had stopped counting) the buzz is so much less, it almost feels normal and it's to much effort to transform to feel normal.
The other night I got glammed up because I had bought this adorable bloue and wanted to try it on properly, so I did. 90 mins to get ready, 10 mins swanning around in said new blouse and deprincessed, not at all like me. Not even a photo and didnt even try on any more outfits.
It's so frustrating though I havent stopped wanting to look like every girl I see on the street or every (female) film star I see on tv but I'm just not triggering the 'do it' level.
Also mucho disappointed about the rubber ball, I was going to be going there with first 3 friends, then 2, no none :( I sooo am going to go there one year.
Hope you are all well. x
Love life's looking up tho, there was this night, it was me and this girl in a big inflatable boat in my living room, and well..., a story for another day perhaps. :>)
Thats me that is with regard to trannying and blogging. I was mulling over it this week, I don't want to wear girls clothes any less, if anything more; summer desses and skirts and cute blouses are driving me mad at work. Honestly it's like theres a cute blouse club at work, one particular girl, cute blouses and skirts every day, drives me mad. Then at work I resolve to go home that night and perorm the magic of transformation but I dont, I want to but not enough to overcome the lethargy. It's like my effort reward ratio isnt high enough. See how I think it works is this; when I was just getting out and about then a night in a skirt was a big deal, huge buzz awesome fun, well well worth the effort and expense. Now that I've been out more times than I can count (I loved when I realised I had stopped counting) the buzz is so much less, it almost feels normal and it's to much effort to transform to feel normal.
The other night I got glammed up because I had bought this adorable bloue and wanted to try it on properly, so I did. 90 mins to get ready, 10 mins swanning around in said new blouse and deprincessed, not at all like me. Not even a photo and didnt even try on any more outfits.
It's so frustrating though I havent stopped wanting to look like every girl I see on the street or every (female) film star I see on tv but I'm just not triggering the 'do it' level.
Also mucho disappointed about the rubber ball, I was going to be going there with first 3 friends, then 2, no none :( I sooo am going to go there one year.
Hope you are all well. x
Love life's looking up tho, there was this night, it was me and this girl in a big inflatable boat in my living room, and well..., a story for another day perhaps. :>)
posted by Gillian at 10:44 PM
7 Comments:
hooray for boats! I can attest to their romantic magic.
also - were you planning to go to the Rubber Ball in it? would have made quite an outfit...
"...summer dresses and skirts and cute blouses are driving me mad at work."
You should try cutting the labels out, I have the same problem sometimes :-p
Only jesting... I know exactly what you mean and I WILL crash the car one day, due to not looking where I'm going... 'Ooooh look at those gorgeous shoes' will probably be the last thing I think before smashing into the car in front!!!
Summer seems to be the traditional lack of tranny urge.. well, at leat the urge to be bothered with all the malarkey that's required.
Perhaps in somewhat it's to balance out the sheer madness that goes on during the autumn/winter months.
Here's to 'cute boot' season! :-)
I know where you're coming from, I've stopped wearing makeup to just stay in and the camera hasnt seen much tranny action recently. Perhaps Lynn's right its the time of year.
Perhaps we sometimes need a break from what we get to regard as 'normal' to appreciate how much we miss and enjoy such things.
Good luck on the 'inflatable boat' front.
:o)
seems to me your just like the rest of us......given the chance i can't be bothered to tart myself up i just slap on my jeans and t-shirt and slob after a hard days work.....sometimes if im invited out i don't go cuz its too much effort to get ready...nowt wrong with that girl :-)
hi there! I've just found you xxxxx I'm another English tranny living in Zurich get in touch? south01@hotmail.co.uk xx
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