Reconnecting with fear

I went out yesterday, I decided I needed some makeup practice before the weekend in the UK so I got made up, made up led to dressed up (about an hour of different outfits, the spare room is still a disaster) dressed up lead to standing behind the door heart pumping which lead to going 'Sod it' and leaving the flat dressed. Didn't do much, I took my recycling up the street to the bins, then carried on for a 10 min walk round the neighbourhood.

I think I left this too long, it was no biggie, just a wander up the street, flat shoes, jeans, blouse but I was bloody scared. When I got back it all felt unreal, like a dream. It also felt very scary and natural at the same time, as I walked down the stairs (top floor flat) I almost forgot I was dressed as a girl, it was nice to walk down the street, I think I got a few looks, but no comments (the swiss are much too polite)

Slightly ashamed about how nervous I was but a bit pleased at doing it at last. Not before time methinks.