Cuckoo

Had a bad day yesterday which surprised me a bit, I put it down to going out with an old friend and getting hammered, alcohol is a depressant and I notice the next day a feeling of glumness. Unfortunately it lasted most of the day and kept me awake last night. A friend who heard of the ex getting engaged mailed me to say 'tell me that wasn't happening before you split' and this was from a girl who is more her friend than mine.

I hate to say it but at times I wish she had died, not because I hate her or wish her harm but because from a selfish point of view it would be easier to deal with. She'd be gone, there'd be no more thoughts of getting her back and I'd not be hearing how she getting on with life. Theres a mad part of me still expecting her to turn up at the door crying that it's been a terrible mistake and I take her back and look after her. - Cuckoo!!

Funny how things turn out, I entitled this cuckoo because I meant to describe how I felt how the guy she's engaged to is like a cuckoo, When I was with the ex, I built up a life, I looked after her, sorted out some problems for her, supported her through college which led to a career change, we got a puppy that we brought up together and cleaned up after and I funded her health clinic that was her dream. Then this guy moves in and replaces me, like the way a cuckoo invades a foreign nest eventually kicking out the natural born chicks to take their place.