Final Ceremony

(If you didn't read part 1 it'll be better in order, scroll down or else it's here)

I spent the Thursday before the final ceremony calming myself, going into the second ceremony scared was not clever. I also decided that I should go in with a clear plan of what I was doing, the major issues I wanted to cover had been dealt with in the first ceremony and that put me on the back foot a bit. So I decided I wanted to see if I could see a past life and to find out my power animal. The shamans believe you have an animal spirit that watches and guards you, this is your power animal.

Again I asked the shaman to ask the medicine spirits to decide my serving. The ayahuasca was not maturing well. This was revolting, seriously amazingly gut wrenchingly disgusting, I rinsed and rinsed my mouth to try and get rid of the taste and kept spitting gobs of ayahuasca flavoured spit - ugh.

I'm feeling calm though, whatever will happen is going to be ok, if I purge then I purge, I can deal with it. Everyone drinks and the icaros start, I'm just enjoying being there and lie down to await whats going to happen. My skin starts tingling as the ayahuasca takes effect and I see orange geometric patterns moving in the air, then suddenly I am in a room sized box made of orange fabric, theres a lot of light outside and wind blows the fabric of the walls and roof, the floor opens beneath me and below me is another orange fabric room, with no floor, and another and another forming a long tunnel of fabric boxes. I fall down the tunnels and at the end I'm left floating above a field.

In the field is a girl working, she's dressed in a white hair triangle, brown floor length skirt, off-white apron. She is bent over and I can't see her face but I think this is me in the past. I want to get close to her but I can't and find myself back in the cermonial house. Somethings feeling funny with me, my head's not right, it feels like it's lengthening and my fingers are curling back, my head extends into a beak and I turn into a hawk, this must be my power animal. Desperate to fly I'm disappointed to be dumped back in the room, it was only to be a fleeting glimpse. As I lie there I feel figures above me. A succession of people in red cloaks with shadowy faces who lean over me and smile kindly. It never occurs to me to challenge if they are here for my greater good; it seems clear they mean me no harm.

Then very very suddenly it's all over, I open my eyes and I'm back in the room, everything is normal, I feel as I did before I drank the ayahuasca, checking my watch I see it's only been an hour since the ceremony started and already the effects have cleared. I haven't even purged. Theres no euphoria, just a feeling of peace, like at the end of a job well done. After all the fear of before, after getting myself calm and ready to face whatever happened it was a non event, nothing even slightly unpleasant. I feel a mild need to purge, nothing urgent. and lean over my bucket vomiting slightly, what comes out is thin and almost clear. I ask the ayahuasca what I purged, the reply comes back 'Just me' like there was nothing for it to do so it was just getting rid of itself.

Sitting up I look around the room in the dim light and watch the shamans and the other participants in their ceremonies, this is strange, the same amount of ayahuasca I had last night that affected me for hours has now burned through me in an hour, this is a strange strange brew. Theres a change in the icaros and I can see Hamilton, the shaman, get unsteadily to his feet and move to Don Alberto, the head shaman. Hamilton collapses to sit on the floor in front of Don Alberto and Don Albertos apprentice is on his feet behind Hamilton, they are both singing icaros to him. Kellee, one of Hamiltons apprentices notices and despite her broken leg hobbles over to take position behind Hamilton and joins in the icaros.

Something is not right and even though there are only three or four of us awake and watching there is considerable tension. Hamilton lets out a long moan, another apprentice takes position around him and they work on Hamilton for about 10 minutes until he starts to move again. 'Hey guys, it's just a little ayahuasca, thank god it's not a lot' he calls, and gets unsteadily to his feet and back to his seat 'what were we doing?' the tension breaks and he leads a new icaro. Tempted to ask for more ayahuasca as i feel totally normal again I decide not to push it, I answered tonights questions and I just lie back till the lights are re-lit. The atmosphere is good as the ceremony ends but it's not as playful as before, Hamilton tries to be jolly but it seems forced, something happened tonight and he's not well.

Sadly I gather my things and say goodbye to the last ceremony. The next day I talk to Kellee, she tells me that Hamilton had been attacked during the ceremony, many of the Peruvian shamans want to harm him because he's white and want to harm Don Alberto for teaching him, so they attack during the ceremonies. Tonight Hamilton got hit.