Had a friend I met on holiday visit me last weekend (Hilary of the Guatemala tranny story) before she came I laid in a couple of films should we stay in one night, I thought she might like to watch award winning Brokeback Mountain, and I wanted to see the two men having sex. Sheesh what a waste of time, what is it with award winnning films that means they have got to be so dull, nothing happened except a bit of grunting round the campfire (shame on the director for not seizing on the comedic potential) in the end I was desperate for the shagging scene to add some interest to the whole proceedings. Eventually we turned it off and went into town.
It was a good weekend, we drank, we dined, we shopped, we went for an afternoons skiing, how cool's that? I can go ski for an afternoon, we didn't even get up early.
Life is hectic, too hectic, as well as my work here I am doing some UK work and it sucks, the last couple of weeks I've had hardly any me time and zero Gillian time. I'm losing faith in the trannying here, I got one response from several nice emails even apologising for mailing in English. My work has an LGBT forum and inspired by the 'T' I stuck my head over the parapet and mailed them (from this persona, I'm not stupid) saying I had started there and was the T for transexual or was there a place for 'just' a transvestite, no response, nada. Oh well, missing it dreadfully, just been checking out uk flights, and prices aren't so bad just now, so look out for me in the UK soon.
Movement on the ex front tho, I've not been blogging much about that, I've kept it a bit to myself for fear of being boring, rather silly as I started this blog as therapy for the breakup but I've been a bit down of late. Anyway, on the way back from the uk (had to visit the parents, dad was ill, could have been very bad, turned out to be high cholesterol - phews all round) I was browsing for books on
NLP and sitting near them was this book. I'm kinda cynical about self help books, but I bought it anyway. This books been a revelation. It could very well have changed my life. In the 2 hours train trip from Geneva I put aside the most painful memories of my ex and they have stayed away, I'm becoming free of all the thoughts that my unconscious mind was throwing at me whenever my guard was down. What I learned was that our bains form patterns of automatic behaviour, like when you learned to drive, you had to concentrate on everything but now it is automatic because your brain has formed new pathways to shortcut the thinking process. The same was happening with me and my painful memories of the ex. It wasn't that I was being unhappy, it was that unhappiness had become automatic, a habit.
So I ran a few of the visualisation techniques described and I'm staggered by the results, the same memories come to mind but with far less power and effect than before. I'm feeling like a weights lifted.
Oh and I didn't tell Hilary I was a tranny :>).
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Non rape me si placet
Please don't rob me.
