Summer time and I'll be wearing - trousers!

Days without cigarettes: enough to be getting podgy!!
Days without wine: hey give us a break, I almost didn't have any yesterday

Guys do have a pretty crap time of it you know. On Saturday I got up and it was roasting, I looked at my guy options for clothing, the least I could wear was long trousers and a t-shirt. I could wear shorts, but guys can't look smart in shorts, I tried on a running top (Vest instead of t-shirt) no good; I looked like a wife beater. So long trousers and a t-shirt. Not even thin linen trousers; that looked like a hippy in Thailand.

Off I went, sweltering. What I wanted to wear, so really really wanted was a denim mini, strappy top and flip flops, I didn't even feel like dressing up, I just wanted to wear something more comfortable. Ho hum, still theres others have it worse, even if it is self inflicted.

We have a lot of Hasidic jews around us, I walked behind some off to worship, the girls looked great, smart but light summery clothes in pastel shades. The guys looked ridiculous, big furry hats, yes furry!! In summer!! White shirt, black waistcoat, heavy black coat (satin tho, approving nod) fastened up, trousers and white stockings (grudging approving nod) The poor kid was somewhat similar. Nutters! And they smell! Actually thats not just being nasty, the ones in the full gettup are soaking in sweat in summer.

But I digress, same in the office, a guy cannot wear shorts to the office and look anything more than a bum, a girl has a world of leg-exposing options, sigh it's just not fair. Ironic that girls clothes should be the most and the least comfortable to wear.

Sulking, wanna wear something floaty floaty to work.

Pop Quiz, Pop Pickers in Girls Knickers

Days without cigarettes: 83
Days without wine: what is this? a temperance society meeting go get me some wine!!

So - pop quiz: mobile goes at work, you notice a UK number, pick it up say hello and the line goes dead, now being the kind of girl who hates that sort of rudeness (how hard is it to say 'sorry wrong number?') you do a quick google for the number. It comes back as the number of the office of the guy your ex left you for.

What do you do??

apart from feel a bit wobbled of course.

The Emperor has no clothes

Days without cigarettes, errr lots but never mind that now
Days without wine, too many, probably why I'm ranting and spouting bile.

Or to be more accurate the Iphone has no functionality.

I am learning to loathe the Iphone and the clowns falling overthemselves to buy it. I'm praying that I'm missing something and it's a Really Great Thing(TM) and the multitudes falling over themselves to get one, even queuing all night to get one are not just depressingly stupid people I have to misfortune to share a planet with.

I guess to be fair it's not the phone I hate, it's hype and those that fall for it, I hate hype, I hate spin, I love honesty. Lets look at the phone.

Ok cool looking - yes, undoubtedly
Breakthrough touch screen technology - no, my phone came out in 2005 and it has a large touch screen, admitedly not multi touch, but I'm missing the point here, it's a sodding phone, multi touch is going to be the bees knees on things like Microsoft Surface but on a phone??? How many digits can you get on the screen?!?

Features - duh uh!! It's a connectivity dinosaur, 2.5G!!! My gardners phone has 2.5G! 2.5G is what my phone uses when it's can't get a wifi or 3G connection. I stop surfing when all I can get is 2.5G. My phone is not a great phone btw, but it's got a helluva lot more than this toy.

Music, yes had it for years and a helluva lot more formats than the Iphone
Video yes had it for years and a helluva lot more formats than the Iphone
Camera - yes , two of, one for video calls.

It doesn't even have a sim card!! You are going to be locked to a service provder and held hostage to their pricing model.

Grrr but it will probably be a big success because in this shallow, superficial world we live in the sheep we call consumers will graze on the polished marketing promotions and buy what they're told to buy and say 'thank you'. Of course you can't expect them to waste time actually reading a specification or thinking about what they are buying, they're much too busy being told what flat screen to buy.

Grrr the man in the street has a mind of his own, but one each would be better.

We are not all the same

Days without cigarettes, mmm somewhere over 70 now
Days without wine = 2 and let me tell you no one is more surprised than me!

I had an epiphany the other day, I was doing a bit of ruminating on what we are specifically my favourite of why why why. I was thinking about forum threads on how we all ought to pull together for the noble cause of men in girls clothes (btw to new readers, thats me, a bloke actually pretending to be a girl, kinda wierd, but not as wierd as one summer me and 'Scrumper' Clark found this dead....., well maybe a story for another day that one). So I'm thinking of these threads and as usually the hairy panty wearer brigade came in for some stick and the pneumatic boobs and red pvc brigade then other girls defended them saying we are a broad church and should be inclusive etc etc.

It ocurred to me that we won't pull together, we never will because it's not what we do thats a unifying factor, it's *why* we do it. That society groups us together under the heading wierdos transvestites does not matter if our aims don't coincide. I am never going to feel the warm fuzzy glow of sistership to a transvestite who throws on a pair of satin briefs and whiles away a happy few minutes bent double over a speeding fist. Nor am I likely to suggest a quiet cosy meal with a girl who just wants to dress to attract attention. I naturally gravitate to the girls who do it for the same reasons as I do, to have fun, to escape the mundane guy life, to try and fit in and look like and act like a girl.

To quote Gillian Stuart "We are not all the same"

Second life

Saw this, snorted coffee out my nose, if second life was real life

Boy != Girl

Days without cigarettes - 61
Days without wine - yeah like that's going to happen.

Had quite a specacular weekend there, a friend came over to visit, this was only the second time she'd met me as a boy. It was just a spur of the moment thing as she had holiday plans that fell through. Spectacular timing as Zurich was having a once-every-three-years festival that weekend.

It was a grand weekend. We ate at a fine restaurant (full marks to the girl for wearing killer heels (and she looked FAB!) even after I warned her we had a bit of a walk to the restaurant) spent time in the huge festival that was in Zurich, slept in a lot, cooked, drank loads of wine. I was much amused; got a bottle of vino in for dinner and another bottle just in case - cry from the kitchen 'which shall we open *first*' - good girl!. Met some friends, watched the most amazing firework show, saw some numbers from 'We Will Rock You', saw stunt flying, saw stunt diving. Saturday night we wandered down a sidestreet and stumbled on the most amazing Doors tribute band. They were very very very good and at last a bijou bop was had. We laughed a lot.

Then in a perfect finale a wasp stung me in the nether regions in the middle of the night, there was a large swelling and not in a good way. The itch is unbearable I've had my hands stuck down my trousers so much it's like a second puberty, apparently slumped against a wall clawing at my groin with my eyes rolling heavenwards saying 'ohh god that's good' is not a good look for me.

It was nice to have someone over and not de-princess the house, I had already decided I wasn't going to talk about tranny stuff but as it happened we talked about it a LOT, well not exactly about it but as we both have friends in the scene conversation naturally turned to subjects trans but I wasn't wandering about saying 'omg I wish I was wearing that etc etc' which was what I wanted to avoid.

A tad glum to find that she sees boy and girl me as much the same; I like to think that they are distinct personalities, I love when people comment on how different they are. Wonder why I should be miffed by that.

But it was great, and I had FUN! and I hope to see her again soon.

don't piss me off

I can be a real intolerant bitch at times, I don't think I show it but my internal dialog has a hissy fit regularly, In an attempt to placate that dialog I am going to allow it some blog time to get some particularly stressful episodes off it's chest, here's some tmes recently where I've stood or smiled sweetly, meanwhile under the covers the internal dialog has been SCREAMINGGG!!

People who wait till they get to the checkout before they get out their purses
WHAT? YOU THOUGHT MAYBE THIS TIME THEY WOULDN'T ASK YOU TO PAY?? DON'T WORRY THERES ONLY A HUNDRED PEOPLE BEHIND YOU TRYING TO BUY DINNER AND GET HOME, NO RUSH YOU DIPSH*T. OH FFS SHE'S WRITING OUT A CHEQUE, I HATE YOUUUUU

We're late to board a plane, theres a connection to be made someone stops to chat to the stewardess.
MOVE IT CASANOVA, SHE'S NOT INTERESTED, MAYBE IF YOU SPENT MORE THAN 2 1/2 P ON YOUR ENTIRE ENSEMBLE YOU CHEAP SHMUCK, FIND YOUR SEAT, SIT DOWN, SHUT UP.

Little pickers at the salad bar, under no circumstances is it acceptable to take more than one scoop from any dish at the salad bowl unless all previous scoops were full.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!! WHY DID YOU SHAKE SWEETCORN OFF THE SPOON THEN TAKE ANOTHER SCOOP, WHY ARE YOU SHAKING THAT SCOOP, WTF! THAT'S THREE, DO YOU THINK I HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO THAN WAIT FOR YOU TO NIT PICK YOUR WAY THROUGH THE ENTIRE SALAD BAR TAKE ONE BIG ONE. FFS SHE'S DOING IT WITH THE SALAD DRESSING NOW ARE YOU JUST TRYING TO PISS ME OFF??!!

Guy in front of me at the xray machine at the airport putting everything he owned through it.
STOP STRIPPING YOU PERVERT, WHAT ARE YOU SOME SORT OF NUDIST? PUT YOUR BAG AND COAT ON THE BELT AND PISS OFF, DON'T YOU NOTICE YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON HERE WEARING NO SHOES WITH THEIR BELTLESS TROUSERS FALLING DOWN??? HELLS BELLS WHATS YOU WIFE SAYING? HE DOESN'T CARE THERE'S METAL IN YOUR BRA LUV, PLEASE DON'T TAKE IT OFF I'VE JUST EATEN.

Woman in front of me in the plane stopping me getting to my seat 'Shall I put this in the overhead locker?' NO, SHOVE IT UP YOUR ARSE.

The travelling brass band who made me late by blocking the escalators taking photos
DIE DIE YOU ALL MUST DIE.

Phewww and relax, engage Gillian mode, breathe deeply, ahhhh that's really so much better. I think this is the only reason I can stay calm and smiling because I am picturing a slow and painful death for my antagonists