The BBC are scum

Just felt I had to do my bit to embarass an Ebay fraudster, go read This.

Back? good, now this has been reported the world over, what does the BBC make of it? this

Now obviously the BBC is notorious for it's bias but this is beyond the pale, did they even read the original page?.

The blogs really funny too, Amir has been posting comments from a number of different ids trying to deflect the criticism, blog is here

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Si hoc non legere potes tu asinus es
If you can't read this, you're an ass. (asinus also means "idiot")

Outed again

Two friends had some US chums staying with them for a week and I went over there for dinner and had a lovely evening, after I left the girl buttonholed the hostess, "I noticed his nails, they're shaped and had clear nail varnish (hardner actually)whats the story?" damn girls are so observant. Debi (for it was she) told her about my other side (thats cool, I don't expect my chums to lie for me) and the reaction? as usual totally ok with it.

Last night Debi and fiance came round to watch Lost and at one point she was trying on some of the clothes Karen gave me last week to see if they fitted. She tried on the bridesmaids dress and said, 'Right, now I've talked it over with Paul(fiance) and if we have a conventional wedding how would you feel about being my bridesmaid'

Bridesmaid!!!! thats twice!!! surely one of thems got to come off!!!! I was speechless, I couldn't believe it, of course I said yes but I said she's got to go away and think about it. This has to be her big day, her wedding, not 'the wedding with the guy in a dress'.

As she sees it I'll be helping her out of a pickle, she's got so many close girlfriends that she'd have to have 12 bridesmaids to avoid putting noses out of joint. Solution - tranny bridesmaid!!! 'Swan around all day in a gorgeous frock? oh well if it helps you out OK then.'

It's not all plain sailing, they haven't decided a date or a country yet, or even if they are having a conventional 'do'. From my side I have to think about this hard, this is different to the scenario when was asked before, that was someone I met through the scene, this is someone I've known for years and we share a lot of muggle friends. Do I want to appear as Gillian in front of them all? Then of course there's the pictures, there will obviously be a shedload of pictures with me in them, I've taken great care to keep my boy world away from pictures of me, do I want to undo all that? Lastly can I be Gillian? Debi has met me as Gillian before and it was cool ('You're a girl, you act different, you move differently' she said) but one night after TX I stayed at a male friends house and we sat up till the small housr drinking, I found it hard to be Gillian in front of him, I felt I was just boy-me in a skirt.

Lots to think about, oh before I forget, I was on MSN with an rg chum from the 'scene' she said 'If I ever get married will you be an usher at my normal do and a bridesmaid at my tranny do' - yaaahhhh!!!! thats three!!!!

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Te precor duncissime supplex!
Pretty please with cherry on top!

Oral Hygiene

Had to reproduce this, my ex sex addict mate Dolores has a new blog, and thankfully her cutting humour tho no longer angst driven has returned.

This made me cry laughing 'Oral Hygiene'

And the tranny stuff?, know how lucky I am? very lucky thats how much. I went up to an RG chums house this week to crash over and drive her to the airport, she's busy packing and shouts through 'want to look at some dresses?' - for the non trannys there thats a rhetorical Q to my kind. So I'm having a look through and she's offloading stuff on me to ebay or keep for myself, come morning I drove away with 8 evening dresses (coast, harrods, principles, wallis, max mara) two tops a jacket and a skirt - they don't all fit but my faves do! so I'll ebay and give her the money. I think that is soooo cool, ty Karen you are a special girl.

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Ne quid nimis
Moderation in all things.

It's all about image

I went to an image consultant at the weekend, kinda fun, the deal was that she checked out my colours (I'm warm not cool btw, please no jokes about not being cool) and I have to get colours that are orangey, yellowy, chocolaty and avoid pinks. Then she went through my makeup case (which she said was the biggest she'd seen - shucks thanks :) and decided what 'we' were going to throw out. This turned out to be most of it :>( I had foundations that had a pink in them, I need a different blusher (more coral, less pink) I should avoid shimmery stuff (bye bye most of my eye shadow) and 'God no' not the blue eyeshadow. I've got 2 lippys and I'm allowed to use my black eye shadow as a highlighter, gee thanks lady.

It was quite fun but I'd skip the makeup lesson it was aimed at real girls (I was the first tranny that ever got in touch with her) and it was about subtlety, at the end of the day I'm a bloke and I need the help of makeup so I drove to Angelic and touched it up a bit. She did a good job on the foundation tho - about 10 times less than I normally use.

I know I hammer on about acceptance, but the fun bit was that she wasn't fazed, she was actually quite interested and wanted to know about our world, I think she actually wanted to know a lot more than she let on.

Then rounded off the day with a gorgous meal with some lovely girls in the Bridge restaurant in MK and club angelic till chucking out time, what a great day!

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Olim habeas eorum pecuniam, numquam eam reddis: prima regula quaesitus.
Once you have their money, you never give it back: the 1st rule of acquisiton.

Formative years

Just made a posting on a forum that made me wonder 'how many tranny things can I remember from childhood?'

So in order as I can recall them
Earliest memory not sure what age
Fascinated by the satiny trim on the bedspread, played with it a lot at night just for the feel of it

7 ish
Had to wear a pair of big sis pants as we'd been packed off to grans for the weekend and mum didn't pack mine. I remember I had to even chose which pair, I was mortified and went for the plainest pair, nothing fancy just cotton but I remember the rejected pair had a trim. I just remember being deeply embarassed and horrified.

7-8
The boy downstairs stole my sisters favourite doll and wouldn't give it back till the girls let him dress in one of mums old slips from the dressing up box, they let him and I was fascinated. I wore one later and liked it.

8ish
Wore sisters nightdress 'for a laugh' and jumped out from behind the sofa 'surprise!!' that was when I learned that boys don't do that.

Heck these are coming back to me as I type!!

8-9
Big sis had her first bra and somehow I ended up wearing it when a cousin came round to visit, they told someone I'd worn it and I was very embarassed, I can't recall whose idea it was to wear it.

Next few years I remember lots of sneaking around when I had the house to myself (as kids we were used to the parents nipping into the next door flat for tea) and raiding big sis wardrobe and being fascinated by a ruched top that was tight instead of the baggy t-shirts I wore

10 ish (but I don't even have a raquet! - Thank you Mr Connery)
In a school play, the female teacher said we had to wear makeup, I was never really sure why as I was playing a male part so she made me up even tho she was quite butch and never wore makeup, I went to look at myself in the toilets and was horrified, I washed it all off before going on stage.

11 ish
Joined the local boys club and had to go to Sunday school in my best clothes; the trousers were an itchy living hell, I remember sitting there on a hot day being sweaty with my trousers jagging me. Mum suggested a pair of big sis tights - heaven!! I couldn't feel any discomfort from the rough trousers (hmmmm bet that ones significant). I loved sunday school from them on.

Also 11
Got picked to play cinderella in the boys club play, oh yeah I wanted to do it, but acted upset to get out of it in case anyone realised I was into it.

12-13
Couple of times I remember mum and big sis trying to get me to let them dress me up as a girl, I never let them, too scared they'd suss me. I often wonder if mum knew and was trying to let me express it.

Think thats it, is there a psychologist in the house?

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Potestatem obscuri lateris nescis
You don't know the power of the dark side.

It's funny when it gets surreal

I had a boy weekend planned. Friday night, out boozing and curry, then Saturday down in the new forest, boozing and stuff, then a cycle ride through the forest with a mate to crow about the residual fitness benefits of my trip. Ok its testosterone laden but I did love talking normally while he couldn't breathe. One call on the tranny phone later and I was heading homewards early. A t-girl (sorry Siobhan) friend was meeting a photographer and wanted a chaperone. So we met up and planned the logistics of getting her out of her house dressed, then met the photographer (who was lovely by the way) then spent the next few hours travelling around the local area snapping piccies of her. One of the more unusual way to spend a sunday evening.

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Ire fortiter quo nemo ante iit
To boldly go where no man has gone before.

Who should play me?

Just a quick bitesize blog morsel to mention a Very Cool Thing. See over to the right, the link to 'Sex Addict' thats my friend Dolores blog. She's gone a bit quiet since she got loved up, her angst ridden acid tongued posts were brilliant. A tortured soul made for great blogging.

Anyway a while back a playwright contacted her asking if he could use some of the material in the blog for a play he was writing, so Dolores like any star struck blogger said yes. Well it's written! and it's got a three week run at the Edinburgh fringe or festival. Dolores is even in the play! well her character is being played by someone - how cool is that!!!!!

Of course I'm deperate to know if I get even a tiny mention, I mean surely Dolores transvestite friend deserves at least some acknowledgment? so who should play me? I'm thinking Demi Moore.

So I'll be off Edinburgh-wards to sit for 2 hours in the darkness eagerly waiting to hear a bunch of strangers speak my name just once.

How cool is that??

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Magnus frater spectat te
Big brother is watching you.

OMG it's light outside

What an amazing evening I just had, I went to Lost Vagueness in the company of the wonderful April and the stunning Siobhan. These girls looked amazing in the worlds biggest gowns, I felt rather dowdy in my ballgown to be honest. The night began by getting ready at a mates house, I realized I'd forgotten a girlie coat so I asked my mates g/f if I could borrow one, she has this really cute peach mac that I have long admired and I was gobsmacked that she brought back three coats for me to try including the mac of cuteness - just a little bit of acceptance like that is such a buzz.

At the party we start off in the VIP section as bum licker extraodrinaire April had weaseled her way in as official photographer and Siobhan was her 'assistant' or 'photo bitch' I got in by dint of using Aprils pass and smiling sweetly at the bouncer.

The evening flew past, lots of music, bit of dancing, some admirer attention, AMAZING outfits, silk, satin, lace, tafetta, corsets, beautiful girls squeezed into chinese dresses, lots of pre-war fashions; in fact a lot of the night felt like some pre-war club. What was odd was that us trannies were just a drop in an ocean of wierdness, usually when at a non-tranny venue we're the wierdest people there, at LV we just registered as normal. Very suddenly it was 6 am and the last songs were being played, can't say I was a huge fan of the music at times (a sqeaky voiced version of 'Those magnificent men in their flying machines' had people jumping on the floor while I'm standing there going WTF?) We spilled onto the streets of London blinking in the light and a flood of wierdos disippated into cars and taxis. We actually had tickets to the after party party which ran from 6am to 2pm but hell no my names not Karol.

Sorree sorree sorree Siobhan for cadging cigarettes off you all the time, I'm a bad tranny.

Most common phrases heard
Siobhan - get off my dress
April - Look at my website, look at my website

A good night.

p.s. Re Angels Badger comment, a couple came to the party dressed as badgers, we don't know why, the boy badger was quite sweet and tried to pull me which was flattering. April pulled lots of RGs, Siobhan pulled Joan Rivers nephew.

p.p.s I forgot to mention that there were some guys in dresses there, we shouted abuse at them for being amateurs :>)

but but but I'm a transvestite

I guess as much as I am out, I still struggle with the guilt a bit, years of social conditioning runs deep. An rg friend mailed me asking if I wanted to go to the ballet with her and my first reaction is to think 'but I'm a transvestite, why would you want to go with me' Just got an email from another rg today 'haven't seen you in ages, when are you coming over' same mental reaction. Yeah I know this is no big deal, that I have as much a right to be me as anyone else but the subconscious doesn't think that. Anyone else get this?

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Potestatem obscuri lateris nescis
You don't know the power of the dark side.

Forgot the crossdressing bit

Totally forgot to blog a bit of crossdressing on the trip I just did, no not the everest bit, but another bit. There was a girl on the trip with us (apart from me) and as we arrived in Kathmandu she was a tad put out to find her luggage had gone astray along with her climbing gear. So she's got no clothes except what she's standing up in so we got to the hotel and pulled gear and clothes for her, she asked me for underpants and borrowed two pairs. Isn't that funny that that way round it's not an issue, no one said anything. Imagine I was on a trip with just girls and asked to borrow their pants? I can imagine I'd get short shrift why should that be?

The good news was that after 4 days the luggage arrived and super porter came screaming up the trail with it and caught up with us at Namche Bazar (we are so weak compared to these guys) and I got my pants back freshly laundered. Ironically she never needed her climbing stuff as she never made the peak.

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Monstra mihi pecuniam
Show me the money.