Stronger?

In my particular idiom (copyright S. Curran) I like to drink a little bit and think about stuff. I've just read something April wrote and it triggered a thought in me; She wrote about falling asleep next to the pool at The Big Chill, we both did and April fell asleep with her head in my lap, the reason for the Big Thinking was that as a nipper I was quite homophobic, along with racist and sexist, I make no appologies, we are all products of our environment and had I not escaped an insular steel town I would probably still be. So to lie there with a mans (ok she looks fantastic but we know the way the chromosomes lie, ya know what I'm saying here?) head in my lap without feeling threatened by it was something of note to me.

That in turn brought back a memory of the night of Jenny Jacksons most excellent party. I was unfortunatlely being a boy having two parties to attend that night, at the muggles party the delightfully gay next door neighbour came wandering out gloriously drunk and collapsed next to where I sat on the lawn. According to the hostess he loves to freak out her guests by coming onto them, perhaps as part of this he positioned himself to put his head in my lap (maybe I just have a lap that attracts XY). It was a nothing to me, I didn't mind and just carried on chatting, stroking his hair a little as his inebriation robbed him of consciousness. The point is that it in no way affected my view of myself as male and straight. I don't have to prove it, I don't care if someone saw it and assumed I was gay (unless it was the cutie in the red and gray shiftdress who I totally failed to get off with, whooaaa two and two are coming together now, damn you gay next door neighbour)

So anyway I reckon I'm stronger through trannying, or coming out, or 'being me' (see later blog entry for an explanation of the quotes.)

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Confacimus navegemus
Fuck it -- let's go sailing.

Aye aye Cap'n

I've felt a bit left out when people were blogging about Dr Who due to the fact I never watched it, well I've just watched series one and I LOVE captain Jack, I don't just like him I love him and I want to have his babies.

My Fav Jack-isms
'The pleasures all mine ladies - which is all that counts'

[brandishing two guns]'Do I look like an out of bounds sorta guy?'

'If you hear fighting [pause] hear us dying'

Come back Jack, I'm picking my dress already.

Sometimes

Echos of the sometimes group just now in my tranny life. I cant be bothered! I was wondering if I was becoming an ex tranny, if thats possible. I've come to the conclusion tho that I'm just being a lazy tranny, my current hiatus is part of this. Heres the deal, I sit at work working on womens clothes sites and I think, oh I can't wait to get home, I'm going to practice some makeup, maybe put on a dress and just chill. Thats never how it works, I get home and think 'nah can't be bothered'. See what I want every night is to come home to find, Trinny, Susannah and Jodie there, they get me ready then a limo takes me out for a night out.

I sooo could not be TS, I'd be crap at it. Haven't been out for 2 weeks now, heck that just made me laugh, I remember when once a month was what I aspired to. I've been doing a lot of reflecting lately (look out for a miserable ex-inspired blog entry soon) I've been pretty bloody lucky, theres a lot of things I used to dream or fantasise about and I've done loads of them and now I'm at the stage where I dont need to grab any opportunity to get out in a dress, I've got a lot to be thankful for, I need to remember that more.

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Quando omni flunkus moritatus
When all else fails play dead.

What a difference a decade makes

Not got anything to blog about, except some laser I had yesterday on the beard - ouch!!!!

but a friend sent me this vid and I was amazed, there is something wrong with Bush junior

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pw4Bhmm22xo

Thats all folks

Just chillin

Had an unusual weekend, went to The Big Chill with the Lost Vagueness crew and April. I was actually in my self imposed tranny exile but I had already agreed to come along to this do when I decide to take some time off. Twas an interesting time, arrived about 8 ish on Friday night and barely had time to get the tent up before the light went, so theres two trannies in a field in the dark doing makeup by torchlight, a challenge indeed. I think I did ok, then off to the festival for drinkies and dancing. Great place, I think we were the only trannies amongst thousands of people and of course we thrived on the attention but ugh, 4.30 finish, back to the campsite in the daylight, zzzzz

Saturday wander round in boy mode then change for the evening. I loved how cool the festival goers were, most hadn't met a tranny before but it was such a non event to them, whenever I got chatting to anyone I introduced myself as Gillian and that was it, I was Gillian, no judgement, no surprise, nothing. Except perhaps from Silver, I was shocked at the amount of kids there, and silver was one of them, she was actually a pretty cool little girl
'Why are you dressed as a girl?'
'Because it's fun'
'Is that a mask or a lot of make-up'
'how old are you babes?'
'Eleven'
'Eleven? really? how did you ever make it that far?'

actually she was quite cool, just interested and perhaps a bit too honest for my fragile tranny ego. talking of kids there was another kid related story that really tickled me. Walking to the festival I passed a family, two families maybe, but there were two little boys at the back, both in flouncy net skirts with angels wings on their backs, I thought it was brilliant, those kids thought nothing of being a bit girly, I think that bodes well for a future where you can be who you are without fear.

I also had some opinions challenged, I'd never really spent time amongst the festival goers before, but hanging about backstage they really impressed me, fun, playful, hardworking and strict when needed. The aforementioned Silver got a bit boisterous with a guy in an amazing outfit and landed a smack on him, one of the organisers took her aside and kindly but firmly gave her a good talking to about respect for others. I have to say I was very impressed, these alternative people were showing a damn site more attention to discipline than any number of muggle families with brats that you see down the supermarket.

Sunday was pretty special too. Got up as early as we could and got girled up straight away, just a daytime look, denim mini and strappy top, Oh wow how I've wanted to see what it's like to wear that sort of outfit on a summers day, and it were great!! not only fun to be daytime trannying amongst the hoardes but it's soooo much cooler than guy stuff. As an additional bonus I went a bit light on the suncream to make sure I got female tan lines, I just felt like doing something I couldn't hide. A good weekend.

Oh yeah and there was a documentary being made, I'm not in it as such, but I saw the camera on me a couple of times backstage, so who knows :).

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crapulam terriblem habeo
i have a terrible hangover.