been a while

Not very happy today, for the last three days I've been shipping out the flat, too many memories being unpacked as so much stuff is packed, too much time thinking about the ex and her latest husband. I didn't desrve this, left alone, hung out to dry, forced to flee the country to try and find some peace.

Yesterday was my birthday; the day sucked, the carpet cleaning guy arrived a bit early, 6.30 am to be precise and I spent a sleep deprived day packing. The night was better tho, went into london with great mate Karen for ballet and food, then ended up at a private members club for end of evening cocktails. I adore Karen, have done since I first met her, always wanted to make a move but never did, then we were friends and never seemed able to cross that line from friend to lover. I decided 'sod it', I'm leaving the country, I need her to know how I feel about her, I couldn't work out how to do it so this morning as we hgged good by, I just held it a bit longer and looked her in the eyes. 'Why did we never hook up?' 'we're friends' she said. and thats that. I'd have hated myself if I'd never tried tho.

I want to meet someone special, someone that makes me want to be special with them. Ignore me, just a late night tired tranny blogger who's feeling a bit glum. Last blog post from this flat, gnight all.

The worst bit

Well that was a giggle and a half last night, met some wonderful chums at Angelic in Milton Keynes to wave a teary fare-ye-well before I head off to foreign climes. A top collection of girls turned up and a great night was had, well not by April who spent the evening throwing up in the toilets. Oh the smell of smoke tho, thats hypocritical of me tho because I cadged a couple of the nasty things too, roll on the smoking ban, angelic is going to be much much nicer. I had some lovely comments from people and a lot of compliments about my skin after my 3 laser sessions.

So we headed back around 4 am and then the worst part of the night - de-princessing, it feels so horrible to sit in front of the mirror and like what you see, then reach for the wig and take it off, - cue big sigh. Second worst part for me is taking the nails off, If I was a real girl I'd just leave them on all week, but thats not allowed cos I'm a bloke. See I am out enough that I could keep them on, and I'm confident enough to do it, but what I want is not to put up with peoples opinions on me, a bloke, with pink nails, but for them not to have an opinion. I like looking down at my hands just now, but come tomorrow they'll just be hands, oh well at least they are pretty just now.

Thanks everyone who came along last night

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Duco ergo sum
I calculate therefore i am

Irony

Way too knackered to say much today, ran a half marathon today, did a heckuva lot better than I had a right to expect but damn I am bushed.

anyway on the way back I was reading a paper that had an article on the pope daring to quote history.

"Muslims bomb churches in protest at pope linking Islam with violence", so not much of a sense of humour and no concept of irony.

god bless you dancing Matt

A Long Long Long time ago I blogged about this guy I'd heard of called Matt who quit his job to dance around the world, well he's been at it again, and his new video just made me smile and smile, Matt you still can't dance but I think you are fab

http://www.wherethehellismatt.com/index.html

Women don't behave like that!!!!!

(you moron) is what I wanted to say. I think I'm a bit of a tranazi, I've got a narrowly defined view of what a tranny should be like and I'm not inclined to cut people some slack when they don't fit into my world view. The latest tranny offence to cause me dismay is 'accidental' flashing. 'Oh oops is my slip showing? what a silly girl I am' 'Gosh did you see my black silk lace lined pants, I'm so embarassed' - **** off you moron!!!!, have you ever seen an RG behave like that? I have a theory that any tranny posting pics like that will look like a dogs dinner and be just as sexy.

While I'm ranting, trannies with adjectives in their names; as soon as you see any name with an adjective in it like tina_longlegs, sexy_sam, gorgeous_gayle etc etc. I guarantee they'll look ridiculous or they don't even post a piccie and if thats not true I'll eat my wig.

Fantasists!! oh hang on did that one already.

Walking badly in heels - come on girls just practise or don't wear them.

Smelly trannies, girls in general are fastidious about personal hygiene, getting to wear perfume is not an excuse to stop brushing.

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Cave canem
Beware of the dog (or more likely a whole pack of dogs)

Cream crackered

What a fab weekend, spent all day Sat queueing around the Red Bull Air Race at LongLeat before it was called off due to high winds - meh! Today was a bit better, I did a triathlon I hadn't been able to train properly for and I did not too bad at all, way better than I had a right to expect given my poor decrepit body's state of repair just now. On top of that the girl I went with to the tri (beat her by 20 mins if anyones interested) gave me a skirt before she headed off and I LOVE it!!! I totally love it, I think I might wear it next angelic.

I'm actually wearing the skirt now which is discomfiting I seem to be doing this of late, just putting on something and not going the whole way with the makeup, wonder what it means. I used to look down my foundationed nose at trannies who didn't make the effort, now I'm just slipping on a skirt not for some illicit thrill but just because I feel like wearing a skirt. hmmm

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Requiescat in pace
Rest in peace.

Outed myself again

Two of my fav things, outing myself and acceptance.

Had a girlfriend over last week (girl-friend, not girlfriend - sigh). We went for a great meal, shared some wine, and then she decided she was going to have more wine and could she stay over. 'Course you can' I said 'but theres a conversation we need to have first'. She looked shocked,
'See I'm a transvestite so my bedrooms full of girls clothes'
'Wow!, I mean wow! I don't even know where to start, cool'
So we discussed it for a bit, showed her the pics, she would never ever have guessed. Finished off a great night and headed home, where she could now see my bedroom, 'oh wow' and she launched herself into my clothes, 'must try this on, must try this on, hate that' and she did, so she ends up swanning around in a ballgown of mine (the ruby floaty one) way too big for her but she loved wearing it. Now she really really really wants to go out with me as Gillian and wants to come round and borrow something to wear out - wierdo!.

It's a nice big hug.