We all did sparkle that night!!!

Back and recovering from a fab Sparkle weekend, great to meet old friends and make new ones, as per usual I never got to talk to enough people and the evenings flew past in a haze of drinking dancing and girl clothes. I agreed to be part of the fashion show which was exciting and scary, there were two briefings so I went for the first one so that I could then go for the second one and get double briefed (I do that).

In the running order there was me on 4 times with the 3rd and 4th having no gap between them,
'You've got me down twice in a row, how do I get changed?' I said helpfully.
'Ah no' she says 'you'll go on wearing one outfit over another then model one outfit then strip to your underwear and model that'
I looked at her like she had two heads 'I'm sorry for a second there I thought you said "strip to your underwear"'
'I did'
'On stage'
'Yes'
'Eeeek!!'

In the end it was a buzz and a half, really nerve wracking and even the stripping bit went well and the euphoria when it was finished - awesome.

then the downside, my handbag got stolen with cash phone and diggie camera in it, some people are right scum, but I flat refused to let it ruin my night and a happy if inebriated tranny wandered back barefoot along Canal st in the 5am daylight carrying her heels.

One odd thing a few times I can't rememeber if I was being a boy or a girl, I went for a sneaky glass of vino with Siobhan and my memory of it doesn't include me being girl or boy, just being 'me'. I've worked it back and I know I was girl but I found that interesting.

Firsts on this trip
Stripping in front of hundreds of people (oh the shame)
Getting trannied out and going back to change to boy at one point (just couldn't be bothered)

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Vae victis
Woe to the conquered!

10p for a cup of tea?

I had a meeting in Reading last night and was accosted by someone asking for 50p, his story was that he had just got out of hospital (shows wristband) and had run out of petrol and needed to fill up his petrol can (waves petrol can) to get home. Had he not been clearly drunk I might have believed him, but I gave him something for the clever use of props.

I never know whether to give anything to beggers or not, I read once a tale from a guy who fell on hard times and ended up begging and a drug addict, he was pulling himself together but said he would never give money to beggers because he believed he'd have sorted himself out sooner if people hadn't given him money.

When I was in Kathmandu there were signs in English asking not to give anything as it is encouraging an influx into the city, easier said than done when an old crone as old as your gran comes up to you clearly in need of food.

Usually when travelling I watch what the locals do, if they give, I give. One time in Cambodia I was scrambling around some temples and came across a girl sitting on the ground, pretty face but she had no feet, she was clearly asking for money so I offered her a note, when she reached up to take it I saw she had no hands. I asked the guide if he knew her story; back in the Khymer Rouge days she had been caught 'stealing' fruit that had fallen to the ground to feed her family. She was caught and they amputated both hands and both feet, she was five years old at the time.

and I think I've got it tough sometimes.

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Neutiquam erro.
I am not lost.

Failure

A friend phoned me last night, she'd just driven past the ex's place of business and it was all closed up and the signs were gone and did I know about it? Nope I didnt know but I made a few calls, and it seems she went out of business a couple of months ago. I'm more gutted than I would have thought, I expected I'd think ' hah! karma' but I don't. I'm really really sad for her, she put a lot into setting up that place, we both did, weekends and every spare hour down there painting, tiling, general DIY.

I'm guessing it's a symptom of how I can't let go, I still love her and my first reaction was that I wanted to look after her and make it all right. On the topic of my enduring madness; I know she's not going to turn up at my door saying it was all a mistake, but I still expect her to, eyes red from crying, soaked from the rain, a soaking wet labrador next to her and she comes in and everything is better.

Next month she gets married, almost two years since that day we sat at our dining room where we had had so many great parties and she said she no longer wanted to be my wife.

I really am that mad - cuckoo!!

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Vita contin git. vive com eo
Life happens. live with it.

Curry!!!

mmm I don't just like curry - I LOVE it.

Had a great and interesting night last night, great mate Debi (who has asked me to be her bridesmaid, have I mentioned that?) has mentioned a few times about going out for a night with me as Gillian, then Friday night unexpectedly presented a perfect opportunity and I ran out of excuses. I was a bit concerned that I might not be able to *be* Gillian, this is someone who has known me for years and only the second person I ever said 'I'm a transvestite' to. It was interesting night; I felt like I was falling in and out of girl mode but predominantly girl. It did feel more 'normal' than ever it has, I wonder if this is some sort of convergence happening between the boy and girl worlds.

Debi said she wasn't sure how she would feel either but said that it just felt normal to her too, she even naturally referred to me as 'her' and 'she', she also said she felt really defensive towards me and if anyone had said anything she was going to give thema mouthful.

If only the waiters were the same
'Ready to order Sir?'
'Manager! I'd like this man taken out back and beaten to within an inch of his life please, and more wine!'

To be fair I think he realised his mistake as soon as he'd said it, he wasn't being mean. No piccies of the restaurant though, I just didn't feel like drawing attention to myself and it didn't feel right somehow, like taking pics is for a tranny night and this was just a normal night that I just happened to be dressed as a girl.

So dinner, back to Debis, drinks, then toenail painting, a good night!!


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Nemo saltat sobrius nisi forte insanit.
Nobody dances sober unless he's insane.

More movies

Nothing to write about today, so I had to pass on a link to some more movies, Kate seems to have too much time on her hands, and has done some good movies here my favs are A Special Treat and The Adventures of Doris

btw did I mention I've been asked to be a bridesmaid? actually thats worth blogging, being cognisant of the whole taking attention away from the bride thing I bounced it off a couple of RG chums, their reaction was 'go for it' the brides not going to have asked me if she isn't cool with it and it's just something thats going to make the wedding memorable. Now supposing I have an SO by then, I wonder how she's going to feel about being the bridesmaids girlfriend at the wedding? Surreal, totally surreal.

Oh and I also got asked to be a model in a fashion show - Tranny fantasies, come on get ya tranny fantasies here, get 'em while they're 'ot.

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Mei capilli sunt flagrantes
My hair is on fire

Lights Camera Action

This weekend I will mostly be making movies

Gillian Gets Upset

The Disappointed Admirer

The Trannie, the Witch and the Wardrobe

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Meum cerebrum nocet
My brain hurts.

Bugger the weekend

Not happy, I had a fun fun fun weekend planned, Friday I was going to visit a friend for dinner then we were going out shopping on Saturday and I was going to get my ears pierced. Friday she said she wasn't well and could we cancel, 20 mins later I got an email from another friend offering a spare ticket to the Monsters of Rock bash in Milton Keynes, 'wayheyy, so now instead of ear piercing I'm going to see Deep Purple, Alice Cooper, Ted Nugent et al. (actually I don't like Ted Nugent, his musics ok but the mans a prick).

Couple of hours later I get a call 'Sorry man someone else got in first, the tickets gone' bugger bugger. Oh well it's all to the good, this way I can bone up on some technology that I lied about knowing for a contract interview next week.

But Friday night I did some trannying, I practised putting on dresses, some frocks I have are a bugger to get on with a face full of makeup so I spent some time finding ways to get them on to minimise contact, I did try with a plastic bag over my head too (kid trannies - don't try this unless over the age of 8, for some reason being older makes you immune to suffocation). Then I watched big brother - party on dudess!!

btw the plastic bag worked quick well, I just felt a bit silly.

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Tua mater tam antiquior ut linguam latine loquatur
Your mother is so old she speaks latin